Shaniya Monae
Hi, my name is Lashana, the mother of Shaniya Monae. Shaniya was born still on 2/24/2018 due to an unknown placenta abruption. Shaniya has two older brothers and a little brother.
During my pregnancy, Shaniya and her two older brothers.
Shaniya’s little brother.
I woke up at 7:45am and I quickly thought, “I can’t wait to meet my baby girl.” By 8am, I started having contractions and grew excited thinking about my wish of holding my baby girl. I was 34 weeks, a little early, but still excited.
By 8:05am, my contractions intensified, more rapidly and painful. I realized that I needed to go to the hospital.
Upon arriving to the hospital, I told the nurse about my abdominal pain and contractions. They wheeled me up to labor and delivery and hooked me up to monitor and detect my baby’s heartbeat. The nurse couldn’t find it, so she tried again. She called in the doctor, and he used the doppler, moving around my belly in search for the heartbeat. He looked shocked. He told me he would be back with another doctor. I waited. After a few seconds, the doctor came in with another doctor and they said they were sorry and let me know that there was no heartbeat.
I screamed. It all seemed like a dream. Everything was in slow motion and sounds of blah blah.
Five hours later I delivered a baby girl in a room full of silence. After delivery the nurses said, “I’m sorry she’s beautiful.”
I got to spend 2 hours with my baby girl. Going home empty handed, was a sad moment.
Is there something that helped you and continues to help you through the waves of grief involved inlosing a baby? The things that helped me through grief were support groups, counseling and starting a nonprofit. I started, Shaniya’s Gift, to honor and remember her as well as help support other loss moms. I donate teddy bears to those experiencing pregnancy and Infant loss at the hospital where Shaniya was born.
Do you have a favorite moment or experience during your pregnancy and/or after delivery with your baby? My favorite memories were when I found out I was having a girl. Her brothers went with me that day and they were excited too. I also loved seeing how beautiful she was with jet black hair.
Can you share a difficult moment or experience during your pregnancy and/or after delivery with your baby? One of the most difficult moment was not taking her home.
What is something helpful others can do for someone who experiences a similar loss? Just be there for comfort and support of someone else going through similar loss.
How could someone honor and remember your baby now that time has passed? Now, as time has passed, others can remember my baby knowing that she did exist and I have 4 kids and/or doing an act of kindness in her memory.
Do you have traditions or ways that you remember and celebrate your baby? I celebrate my daughter on Christmas by having many ornaments made.
Do you have a quote, book, verse, song that has been a comfort? “Grieving The Child I Never Knew” is a great book of comfort. I go back and revisit highlighted pages.
