Meet the Hall Family! Nick, Kristianna, Arabella (our angel), and Canelo (our adopted husky.)

In October2021 we were thrilled to find out we were pregnant with our first child. Being new parents, navigating a wild journey, we started to prepare for our baby by gathering clothing, a crib, diapers, basically anything I possibly could to get ready for our bundle of joy.

My first appointment was in December at 8 weeks 5 days. We got our first ultrasound pictures and a due date of 7/26/2022. We were over the moon. As things continued to progress, I was very sleepy and nauseous but so overjoyed we would be welcoming a new addition to our family. We continued to have appointments once a month in January, February, and March. We loved watching our baby grow and getting to hear her heartbeat and even feel kicks of joy.

Our anatomy scan was on March 8th, at 20 weeks, and we found out for International Women’s Day that she was a girl! I knew before I was even pregnant that her name would be Arabella. Her middle name Ann came from my mother’s middle name, as well as my late Mother in Law’s middle name (who passed years ago before I had the opportunity to meet her.)

On March 14th it was my 29th birthday and we celebrated with a delicious meal at Olive Garden. I was beyond thrilled to get more small gifts for our sweet angel rather than myself for this year. Surrounded by family we all rejoiced at the thought that we would have a new sweet baby to love on and cherish forever. Little did I know, our paradise would soon come to an end as I woke up in the middle of the night on March 25th, 2022 and lost huge amounts of blood and clots. I woke my husband up and we immediately knew something was very wrong. We rushed to the closest hospital filled with fear and panic, unaware of how much worse things could get.

When we arrived to St. Anthony’s North, we explained that I was 23 weeks pregnant and had lost blood and fluid and needed to be seen right away. To make a long story shorter, the Doctor and nurses ran tests but said she was a week short of what was considered viability at 24 weeks and they would do nothing to intervene or assist. They also told us they are a catholic hospital and we would need to leave and go to another facility to deliver since Arabella would not make it and it was against their religious policies. Still losing a ton of blood and at a loss for words, my husband drove me across town to our OB’s office in Louisville, CO to deliver. When we arrived, we were told the nurses would be expecting us, but instead we were like strangers showing up at this facility and the front desk lady asked if I was expecting. I was bewildered and said I think I am losing our daughter right now please hurry and we were rushed to a room in labor and delivery.

After many more tests and long hours, they confirmed Arabella’s heartbeat was gone and all we could do was wait to deliver her lifeless body. At 11:47 AM, our angel was born and was the most beautiful long legged little girl I have ever laid eyes on. Looking back, we had the perfect pregnancy with no spotting, no warning signs or issues. Arabella was strong and powerful, and I couldn’t help but shake the feeling it was my body and an undetected infection that resulted in her demise. In the end her cause of death was listed as PPROM and placental abruption but they are unsure what exactly might have caused the silent dilation and preterm labor. To say this has been the most difficult event of our lives would be an understatement. We are still fighting insurance and Doctors who charged over $40,000 this year so far to my health plan and feel in the end we are left with nothing. We are honored to be able to share our story and the legacy of our only child. Mommy and Daddy love you forever and always Arabella Ann.

Is there something that helped you and continues to help you through the waves of grief involved in losing a baby? Adopting our dog Canelo has been such a huge help for us after losing Arabella. I take him on walks for at least 1 hour every day at different times between working and it helps me stay active and get some sunshine. We also enjoy listening to music that reminds us of our baby in the stars, as well as reading, journaling, and spending time with family and friends.

Do you have a favorite moment or experience during your pregnancy and/or after delivery with your baby? One of my favorite memories during pregnancy was feeling Arabella kick especially when Daddy was giving her rubs, and when my tummy would gurgle while digesting, I always felt like it was her talking to us.

Can you share a difficult moment or experience during your pregnancy and/or after delivery with your baby? The most difficult moment after delivering Arabella was just bringing ourselves to hold and spend time with her knowing we would have to leave her and not be able to go home with her until after she was cremated. Her beautiful soft skin was cold and she was so fragile and small that it was just such an overwhelming experience knowing the hello and goodbye would be so short and bittersweet.

What is something helpful others can do for someone who experiences a similar loss?

Something helpful others can do for people experiencing loss is just to be there for them. Spend time with them, listen to them, say their babies name, and honor and cherish them as they do.

How could someone honor and remember your baby now that time has passed?

Now that time has passed you can still honor and remember someone’s baby by keeping track of important dates and holidays and buying a small gift or reaching out to let them know you are thinking of them too.

Do you have traditions or ways that you remember and celebrate your baby?

There are many ways we will remember and celebrate Arabella. To name a few, I got a beautiful tattoo on my arm for her, we have made shirts and car decals/stickers, we have donated to many charities, held a celebration of life, have shrines around our house with ashes and teddy bears and prints, made blankets for the hospital she was born at in her honor, and will walk with other loss families next month in a remembrance event. I think above all the most important thing you can do is speak about them often and openly.

Do you have a quote, book, verse, song that has been a comfort?

If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. No matter how hard the guilt and overthinking are, I know Arabella knows how much I will always fight for her and how deeply we will love her. This was not my fault and I did everything I could do and will continue to so our baby knows how much she means to us and so many others.

Arabella Ann Hall

Scarlett Rose

Scylla Hilliard