Willow Radzinski
Hello, we are the Radzinski family. My husbands name is Benjamin and my name is Madalaine we had Willow Elaine Radzinski March 17, 2021.
It was tough for us to get pregnant due to me having PCOS. It took us a little over a year and some medication’s to conceive. Around 18 weeks I had the quad screen and the result led the doctors to believe she had spina bifida. They did a few ultrasounds and found that she didn’t, they did find however that she was measuring small for her gestation.
From there I would have ultrasounds every two weeks and she would continue measuring another week behind each time. They also noticed there was restricted bloodflow into the umbilical cord. On February 26th I finally got admitted to the hospital for continuous monitoring. On the morning of March 17 (I was 27 weeks and 5 days), around 10 AM, they did an ultrasound and during that she had a significant drop in heart rate. They immediately hooked me up to the NST and she had another drop in heart rate.
They wheeled me to labor and delivery and told me to call my husband. They got me started on magnesium and gave us just enough time for my husband to arrive. She was born via C-section at 11:08 AM weighing just 1 lbs. 2 oz (about the size of a 23 weeker). They immediately took her to the NICU to get intubated. As expected due to her small size she had severe lung disease. From that point the NICU stay wasn’t too bad.
She did well for the most part, I didn’t get to hold her for the first time until April 29 because she was so sensitive to stimulation. Just a few days later on May 2, she got pneumonia and they weren’t sure if she would make it. She pulled through but did require more oxygen from it. On May 19 the doctor told called and said her PDA had gotten worse so they wanted to transfer her to the Milwaukee Children’s Hospital three hours away. She got to Milwaukee on May 20. Due to the transfer she got worse so they had to postpone the surgery until May 25. That morning they did an echo to check the PDA and it had closed completely on its own.
From there she did OK. Then they noticed she wasn’t tolerating feeds anymore and was getting extremely distended. They did x-rays and thought it was an obstruction. They scheduled an exploratory surgery for June 11. Unfortunately they didn’t find anything during the surgery. They were able to place a stoma and attach an ostomy bag in hopes it would help her. The surgery did seem to help her for a little bit, but once again she got distended with her feeds. They thought maybe it could be an allergy to something in my milk, so they started her on Elecare. It helped for a bit but eventually it got worse again. At that point they had ruled everything out. I had a care conference with all of her doctors on June 29.
They went over her case and told me they suspected it was a congenital pseudo-obstruction. For her there wasn’t any treatment. Her bowel didn’t work and the TPN could only be given for so long before it damaged her liver.
On July 3 we made the tough decision that we would be letting her go. We didn’t want her to struggle or be in pain anymore, she had been through so much already. From then to July 8 we spend our days making memories with her, holding her, dressing her cute, getting foot prints and tons of pictures.
On July 7 she got to meet her great aunt and her grandparents and got baptized she passed away in my arms peacefully on July 8 at 12:46 PM.
My favorite moments with her was just holding her, I would hold her for hours until my arms fell asleep I just loved it so much. It helped me to know she wasn’t struggling or in pain anymore.
The most difficult part was leaving the NICU for the last time without her. It helps to have people check on you to see how you’re doing, to vent or just talk about your baby. Just because she’s gone doesn’t mean that I want to forget her.
